![]() And does not really model how to invest in friendship or community in the same way. On navigating life changes in friendshipsĪnn Friedman: "The kind of broader culture we live in gives us all kinds of messages about investing in our spousal relationship, or our family unit. And actually the best way to use social media, according to the research, the way to use it so it doesn't make it lonelier is to use it as a tool to facilitate in-person connection." It's not going to do the same thing as what Jennifer called embodied connection. But again, like turning to social media for support and connection. That's what we're grabbing to, to try to regulate and soothe our emotions. And even if it's going to make us feel worse over time, it's like candy in the moment for us. Where we just have something else to do, something else to distract ourselves. Social media wasn't a thing at the time of his book, but I think a lot of this has been exacerbated by social media. Where if we're watching it for too long, we don't want to get up and we don't want to do anything, even if that's what's good for us. And the other thing is that he talks about how the television kind of activates this lethargic state in us. Now, if I'm not going to that Rotary Club, I have something else to entertain me. "His was on the television at the time, and he sort of talked about how the television is contributing to the ways we are disengaging from public life, because it's simply giving us something else to do. I think where we're turning to is honestly social media, right? And you know, Robert Putnam's book went into this. They've been spending less time together and they've been spending less time with their outside networks over the years. Marisa Franco: "I actually read this recent book that talked about how actually couples are becoming more insular. Who are Americans turning to for their emotional support?ĭr. I think that we're sort of speeding out in the wrong direction." I mean, I know it's supposed to connect us, but I think not in the ways that the most meaningful, which is to say embodied. And I think the internet probably speed things up, paradoxically. "This has been going on for a while, the sort of atomization of American life. ![]() Where church attendance and synagogue attendance and mosque attendance, all these things are declining. About the decline in social capital that we have. And then it was almost the duty of every American president ever to sit with him and chat about this. Robert Putnam wrote this groundbreaking book in 2000 that I think influenced the way a lot of people thought about this. I think social ties have been in decline for years. Jennifer Senior: "I think that the prognosis isn't great. How does having fewer friends impact how we engage as a society? ![]() The thing that's most pronounced about these happy people is that they're socially connected. Do they have more positive events happening to them? And they found no. I would say more than anything, there's researchers that looked into the case of very happy people, and what makes them distinct. I think another reason why friendship is super, super important is that connection is the key to positive mental health. So if you want to think about an older age, thinking about what time you have for the rest of your life, if you want to try to expand that time, then you need to have friendship. Marisa Franco: "We don't tend to think about it this way, but loneliness is as toxic for our bodies, and researchers have found that it's actually as toxic as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, in its impact on our longevity. On the impact of having fewer close friendsĭr. ![]() ( In 'Big Friendship,' Best Friends Share How To Stay Close For The Long Haul Interview Highlights Co-hosts of the podcast Call Your Girlfriend. ( Sow and Ann Friedman, co-authors of the book Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close. ( Marisa Franco, psychologist and friendship expert. Author of the article It's Your Friends Who Break Your Heart. Jennifer Senior, staff writer at The Atlantic. Today, On Point: What having fewer friends could mean for the health of our nation. So what's driving the American friendship gap? Nearly half of those surveyed say they've lost touch with friends over the past year, while one in ten reported having lost touch with most of their friends. The percentage of people who say they don’t have a single close friend has quadrupled in the past 30 years, according to the Survey Center on American Life. Listen to our show on why Americans are spending less time with friends here. Sign up for the On Point newsletter here. (Andrew Lichtenstein/Corbis via Getty Images) Facebook Email Three high school friends meet for the first time since school was cancelled six weeks ago on in Prospect Park in Brooklyn, New York.
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